I’M SORRY
“BEAR WITH EACH OTHER AND FORGIVE WHATEVER GRIEVANCES YOU MAY HAVE AGAINST
ONE ANOTHER. FORGIVE AS THE LORD FORGIVE YOU” (COLOSSIANS 3: 13).
I’m sorry – forgive me, a statement so short coming from a combination of words so few but when spoken out of a
sincere heart can bring forth so much healing to the world.
“I’m sorry – forgive me” These words make a good deal of difference in the restoration of ruined relationship and
the healing of broken lives. I have come across beautiful quotation from one Edward Herbert who said, “He that
cannot forgive others, breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself, for every man has need to be forgiven
Our tendency to put the blame on someone else goes back as far as the creation of man himself. You
will recall that when Eve eats the fruit of the forbidden tree she also convinced her husband to do the same. When
God confronted Adam of what they have done he put back the blame on his wife and on God. “And they heard the
voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day; and Adam and his wife hid themselves in the
presence of the Lord God amongst the trees of the garden. And the Lord God called unto Adam and said unto him,
where art thou? And he said, I heard Thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid
myself. And He said, who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree whereof I commanded thee that
thou shouldest not eat? And the man said, the woman whom Thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree and
I did eat” (Genesis 3:8-13)
If we say, I’m sorry – forgive me, you do not put the blame on somebody else. It means you admit your
mistake and are ready and willing to stand by the consequences of your action. In the process, it restores back the
broken bridge that has caused the separation.
Of course, there are many ways we can build bridges for reconciliation. We can say, let’s not talk about it anymore
or we can say, let’s forget it and start our lives all over again. Maybe we might even say, it was but an outburst of
my uncontrolled emotion or we might also say, I suppose we are both to blame and it’s about time to bring back days
of happy moments we shared together and heal the wounds that has hurt us both.
But mind you, of the so many ways of mending broken relationships nothing stands out to offer a more effective
healing power as when we say, I’m sorry – forgive me. Once these words are out, flowing from an honest and sincere
heart, there is always magic in the air. It softens a hardened heart and gives out a feeling of comfort and joy to a one’s
angry soul.
Allowing on - going differences to continue between the two contending parties would also allow for animosity
to deepen its roots and hurt them both. When an apology is due it should be made at the soonest possible time
regardless of whether you think the other party is more to be blamed. An anonymous writer aptly said it well, “If
there is anything I can do to heal the wounds caused by our misunderstanding let me do it now. Let me not differ or
neglect it for I shall not pass this way again.” A gallant gentleman will never reach the height of true manhood till
he humbly stoops down to offer an apology after realizing his mistake.
In like manner, a person demonstrates the nobility of a king especially among the first fruits of God’s harvest when
he apologizes and say, I’m sorry – forgive me. A true converted man of God must understand and put into action
as part already of his everyday life an old Bible passage that says “whosoever shall exalt himself shall be
abased and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted” (Matthew 23: 12).
When Jesus was asked to address the question of forgiveness, He told the fisherman Peter that we are to forgive
seventy times seven. “Then came Peter to Him and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me and I forgive
him? Till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, till seven times but until seventy times seven”
(Matthew 18: 21-22).
While writing this article I opened the internet to do some research on the latest crimes of global concern that I can
use on the subject of forgiveness. And right there before my very eyes is one of the headlines contributed by a reporter
of the Associated Press that caught my interest that day, it said, “Man on death row: A story of his final moments;”
Florence, Ariz. (AP) July 23,2014. Joseph Rudolph Wood looked around the death chamber and glanced at the
people making preparation for his execution, locating the proper veins and inserting two lines into his arms. Wood
then uttered his final words, smiled at the victim's family members and made eye contact with a chaplain. Just after
declaring that he was at peace with his death, he smiled at the chaplain, but for a second, a subtle look of panic took
over his face. Officials administered the lethal drugs at 1:52 p.m. Wood's eyes closed About 10 minutes later, the
gasping began. Wood's jaw dropped, his chest expanded, and he let out a gasp. The gasps repeated every five to 12
seconds. They went on and on, hundreds of times. An administrator checked on him a half-dozen times. He could
be heard snoring loudly when an administrator turned on a microphone to inform the gallery that Wood was still
sedated, despite the audible sounds.
As the episode dragged on, Wood's lawyers frantically drew up an emergency legal appeal, asking federal and state
courts to step in and stop the execution. "He has been gasping for more than an hour," the lawyers pleaded in their
filings. "He is still alive." The Arizona Supreme Court convened an impromptu telephone hearing with a defense
lawyer and attorney for the state to decide what to do. Wood took his last breath at 3:37 p.m. Twelve minutes later,
Arizona Department of Corrections Director Charles L. Ryan declared Wood dead. The state court was informed
of the death while its hearing was underway. It took one hour and 57 minutes for the execution to be completed, and
Wood was gasping for more than an hour and a half of that time.
The execution quickly re-ignited the death penalty debate as critics denounced it as cruel and unusual punishment
and said it raised grave questions about the two-drug combination Arizona uses for lethal injections. Wood had
waged an intense, last-minute legal battle that challenged the state over key information about who supplies the drugs
and how they are administered.
Wood was convicted of murdering Debbie Dietz and her father, Gene Dietz, in 1989 at a Tucson auto repair shop.
Minutes after the execution, the victims' family members spoke to the media. "What I saw today with him being
executed, it is nothing compared to what happened on Aug. 7, 1989," said Debbie Dietz's sister, Jeanne Brown.
"What's excruciating is seeing your father lying there in a pool of blood, seeing your sister lying in a pool of blood.
Now you are asking me if I can forgive him? Her husband, Richard Brown, had a similar thought. "This man
conducted a horrifying murder and you guys are going, 'let's worry about the drugs,'" said Richard Brown. "Why
didn't they give him a bullet? Why didn't we give him Drano?"
About an hour and a half after the execution, Gov. Jan Brewer said she had ordered the Corrections Department
to conduct a full review of the process. She added that she believed Wood "died in a lawful manner, and by
eyewitness and medical accounts he did not suffer.""This is in stark comparison to the gruesome, vicious suffering
that he inflicted on his two victims - and the lifetime of suffering he has caused their family," Brewer said On April
19, 1995, Oklahoma City shocked the American people when a domestic terrorist attack was launched to the Federal
Building in downtown Oklahoma City. It killed instantly 168 people, injured 680 others and blast out and damaged
324 buildings standing within the block The 4 suspected terrorist were caught and tried but only Timothy MCveigh
was sentence to die by lethal injection while his companions were meted life sentences.
On June 11, 2001, his execution was carried out. Almost a similar scene was observed inside the execution
chamber. Timothy MCveigh was very calm and seems to be at peace when he said his parting words to the priest.
All of a sudden, he broke down! His body shook and he cried.
A press conference immediately followed. Parents, brothers, sisters and relatives of the victims were
asked how they feel now that the mastermind killer of their fathers, their mothers their sons and daughters is now
dead. They received a variety of answers. One mother, her voice rising to a crescendo said “He is now roasting in
hell”! A father with tears flowing down his checks said, “How can I forgive him? He is a good for nothing, rotten….,
he paused, killing him could not bring back the life of my beloved Donna”. When a greiving husband was asked of
how he feel about the execution of the man who took the life of her beloved wife, he said, “I will never forget what
happened but life must go on and I have to forgive lest I will not be forgiven”.
Lately, Guillo Servando, a sophomore student of one of the most respected Universities in Metro Manila died of
hazing initiated by fraternity members. Investigation showed that not less than 15 members participated in the brutal
killing. When the father came face to face with one of the suspects who surrendered voluntarily, he was
asked how he feels about it, he said, “I am happy for the way the authorities are handling the case. I lost my son in
a senseless killing at the hands of those whom they call his closest brothers…….. but life must go on and I must fight
this out to the end till justice done though the great and the mighty may fall.
Sigmund Freud, the noted Viennese psychologist who made a significant success in his chosen profession once said,
“One must forgive one’s enemies, but not before they have been hanged.” What an awful comment from a respected
man of letters.
Whoever said that this matter of extending forgiveness to others who have done us wrong is all that easy? Then
listen and better listen well. I have learned more in my short stint with the Church of God vital knowledge in life than
in all the other three quarter years of my formal and informal study outside. Pride and hunger for recognition has
always been the major reason why we find it difficult to admit that we are wrong or at least partially wrong and say,
I’m sorry – forgive me.
Harold Sala said it also very well,
“the four most important words to say to people we love is also the most difficult
to say: I’m sorry forgive me.”
Corrie Ten Boom, a prisoner in one of the German concentration camp understood so well how difficult forgiveness
can be, yet she still wrote in her memoirs, “Forgiveness is not an emotion …….forgiveness is an act of the will…..
and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.” Speaking from experience she understood so
well what forgiveness can be at its exemplary nature.
I was privileged to converse with a well-educated woman in her late fifties at a funeral of a family friend. In all
likelihood, her good family up-bringing propelled her to gain some sense of dignity and understanding of what life
is but when someone she trusted crossed the line and betrayed her, that woman became her enemy until death.
Late in her senior year something happened that made her changed her mind. Jesus Christ and His teachings became
the center of her new found life. Chapter 6 of the gospel of Matthew verses 14-15 made a significant impact on her.
“If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive
men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” “If you don’t forgive other people” says Jesus, “I won’t
forgive you.” She reasoned to herself, “If God don’t forgive me unless I forgive my enemies” then I guess I better
learn how to love them.”
If you think it is still hard for you to say I’m sorry – forgive me, then it would be wise for you to remember the words
of that forlorn figure of Christ hanging there on a stake at Mount Calvary while mustering the last ounce of His
human strength and said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).
Be kind and forgiving just as in Christ God forgave you” ( Ephesian 4:32). ☜
Romeo Samudio